Conversation Guides
Prior to the meeting
- Be prepared to give your manager a brief overview about the menopause in case they have limited knowledge before starting your conversation about your personal situation.
- Prepare what you are going to say – write down a few ideas. If helpful, rehearse what you are going to say with someone. Feedback is always useful, and practice can help with feeling confident about what you want to convey.
- It can be helpful to keep a diary of your symptoms – record how they are affecting you both physically and emotionally. Use specific examples to share with your manager, particularly in the context of your role and work responsibilities. This will enable your manager to gain a clear understanding of your situation and help with their formulation of ideas of how they can support you.
- Decide on a location where you feel comfortable to have your conversation and a space where you will not be interrupted. This may be within the office or off campus.
- Schedule sufficient time for your meeting.
During the meeting
- Your manager may not know much or anything about the menopause, the symptoms or how the menopause could affect an individual at work so before you start your conversation ask them if they have any knowledge about the menopause. This will enable you to understand the depth of explanations you may/may not need to provide.
- Be clear and if you are able, don't feel embarrassed to open up – explain what is happening, the situation, and how it is affecting your work. The support that your manager can give you will depend on how much information you are able to disclose.
- You know your personal situation best, offer a solution or make suggestions on what would help you to manage your symptoms at work.
After the meeting
Your manager may not readily have answers or solutions to assist you with your situation during the meeting. They will need time to reflect on the information that you have shared therefore suggest a follow up meeting with them.
If you are suffering from menopausal symptoms to the point they’re getting in the way of you enjoying life, it’s time to talk to your doctor. But, sometimes, that’s easier said than done.
We all know how difficult it can often be just to get an appointment, and then it’s often only ten minutes. And talking about symptoms can be hard, let alone if you feel rushed or unprepared. So, what can you do? Below are some helpful, straightforward tips to help you get the best from your appointment.
- Don’t wait. Menopausal symptoms are a natural part of life, but if they are affecting you, there are things you can do, and support is available. There is no need to wait until symptoms feel unbearable.
- Read the NICE guidelines. This stands for National Institute for Health and Care Excellence and these guidelines are what your GP will use to determine the type of conversations to have with you and treatments to offer. There are guidelines for patients, which are really useful to read before you see your GP, so you know what to expect. The NICE guidelines can be found here.
- Prepare for your appointment. It’s easier for your GP to understand what’s going on if you provide them with all the information.
- Keep a list of all your symptoms, your menstrual cycle, hot flushes, how you’re feeling, and any changes you’ve noticed. Write them down, and take them to your appointment. Your doctor will thank you for it, and it’s more likely that together, you’ll find the right solution faster. And, if you have any preferences about how you manage your symptoms, tell them that too – for example, if you’d like to try hormone replacement therapy (HRT), or not.
- Ask the receptionist which GP is best to talk to about menopause. They are often the font of all knowledge at a surgery, and can help you find the best person to speak to – it might not be your usual GP, it could be someone who has had special training in the subject.
- Ask for a longer appointment. If you don’t think your standard appointment will be long enough, try to book a double appointment, as some surgeries do offer this.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion. If you don’t feel you’ve received the help you need, ask to speak to someone else. Don’t be put off, you know how you’re feeling, and how it’s affecting you.
- Ask if there is a menopause clinic in your area. Occasionally, there are regional clinics, specifically devoted to menopause. If there is one in your area, and you think this would be helpful, ask for a referral.
- Take your partner or a friend with you. The chances are, you spend your life supporting others and, during menopause, it’s your turn to ask them for support. Your partner, or a friend, will know how the symptoms are affecting you. They could support you at the appointment, and also find out how they can continue supporting you.
What to expect from your doctor
There are certain things a GP should – and should not – do during your appointment.
Your GP should:
- Talk to you about your lifestyle, and how to manage both your symptoms, and your longer-term health;
- Offer advice on hormone replacement therapy and other non-medical options;
- Talk to you about the safety and effectiveness of any treatment.
Your GP should not:
- Tell you that it’s just that time of your life. Yes, menopause is a natural stage, but please don’t feel that means you should have to put up with every symptom without help;
- Tell you they don’t prescribe HRT. It’s up to you what you want to try, and for them to say whether it could be right for you, depending on your medical history;
- Impose unnecessary time restrictions, such as they will only prescribe this once, or for a year or two. This is an ongoing conversation, and if your symptoms persist, you will still need help to manage them.
Remember, your GP is there to help and support you, and you should feel comfortable and confident in talking to them about your symptoms, and any help you need. Don’t think you have to struggle through menopause when there is help and support available.
Not everyone will experience menopause in the same way and therefore as a manager it is important to manage each individual situation in accordance with your staff member’s particular circumstance.
If an employee wishes to speak about their symptoms, or just to talk about how they are feeling (they may not recognise themselves that they are experiencing menopause symptoms), you should ensure that you:
- Allow adequate time to have the conversation;
- Find an appropriate confidential space to hold the meeting;
- Encourage them to speak openly and honestly;
- Either at the meeting or following the meeting suggest ways in which your they can be supported;
- Agree actions, and how to implement any support;
- Agree if other members of the team should be informed or not, and if so by whom;
- Ensure that designated time is allowed for follow up meetings. Regular routine one-to-one management catch ups with your staff member is an ideal time to enquire into your staff member’s well-being.
Management Guidance on how you can support your staff member’s menopause symptoms
Symptoms can manifest both physically and emotionally, including, but not exhaustively or exclusively as set out below. Suggestions for possible support options are also listed:
Hot Flushes
- Request temperature control for their work area, such as a fan on their desk or moving near a window, or away from a heat source;
- Easy access to drinking water;
- Have access to a rest room for breaks if their work involves long periods of standing or sitting, or a quiet area if they need to manage a severe hot flush.
- If they are required to wear a uniform for their work, ensuring that the uniform fabric does not exacerbate the symptoms of hot flushes.
Heavy/light Periods
- Have permanent access to washroom facilities;
- Ensure storage space is available for a change of clothing.
Headaches
- Have ease of access to fresh drinking water;
- You may want to consider Flexible working or Hybrid Working for a period of time.
- Have time out to take medication if needed.
Difficulty Sleeping
- You may want to consider Flexible Working or Hybrid Working particularly is a staff member is suffering from a lack of sleep.
Low Mood
- Enable time out without needing to ask for permission;
- Identify a ‘buddy’ for the colleague to talk to – outside of the work area;
- Identify a ‘time out space’ to be able to go to ‘clear their head’;
- Contact Employee Assistance on 0800 243 458, by emailing assistance@workplaceoptions.com or online www.workplaceoptions.co.uk - (username: queenmary and password: employee).
Loss of Confidence
- Ensure there are regular Personal Development discussions;
- Have regular one-to-one meetings with your staff member;
- Enable agreed protected time to catch up with work.
Poor Concentration
- Discuss if there are times of the day when concentration is better or worse, and adjust working pattern/practice accordingly;
- Review task allocation and workload;
- Provide books for lists, action boards, or other memory-assisting equipment;
- Reduce interruptions;
- Have agreements in place in an open office that an individual is having ‘protected time’, so that they are not disturbed;
- Have agreed protected time to catch up with work.
Anxiety
- Promote counselling services provided by the Employee Assistance Programme for staff struggling with mental health issues;
- Identify a ‘buddy’ for the colleague to talk to – outside of work their area;
- Be able to have time away from their work to undertake relaxation techniques;
- Enable the staff member to be able to undertake mindfulness activities such as breathing exercises or going for a walk.
Panic Attacks
- Agree time out from others, when required, without needing to ask for permission;
- Identify a ‘buddy’ outside of work area;
- Be able to have time away from their work to undertake relaxation techniques;
- Enable the staff member to be able to undertake mindfulness activities such as breathing exercises or going for a walk.
- Discuss whether the member of staff has visited their GP. Depending on the discussion, this may be the next step suggested, particularly if the areas of difficulty are sleeping, panic attacks or anxiety.
- If they have visited their GP, and are being supported by them, it may be helpful at this point to make an Occupational Health referral to give specific advice regarding the workplace.